Last week was my 10th wedding anniversary and BOY HOWDY have we come a long way! I am blessed beyond what I could’ve imagined, to be married to an amazing, Godly man.
I’ve had many close friends share their admiration for our marriage, and while it’s terribly humbling because we often feel we have just lucked out by finding our “soul mate”, I also look back over our 10 married years realizing how much work we’ve put INTO our marriage! AND THEN realize how much work we’ll continue to put into it! Alas…if you’ve ever worked hard at anything in your life, you know, it’s all worth it in the end!
There is absolutely no possible way I could share 10 things I’ve learned in 10 years of marriage in one, single blog post. Partially because it would be ridiculously long
not unlike my previous post, but also because, well, let’s face it, I like to talk. So each of the 10 things will be given it’s own separate post.
#10. my husband will always take second place
Nope…you didn’t misread that.
I know, the most bizarre piece of marital advice you’ll ever hear, right? Allow me to explain myself…
My dating life prior to my husband was…well…lacking I suppose.
I dated one boy very seriously for about 2 years between the ages of 17-19. It was that typical young love, obsessed type of relationship that Keisha describes in her song “Your Love is My Drug”…we were COMPLETELY consumed with one another to a fault. Even if you’ve never heard the “song”, you can imagine what it’s about. It was unhealthy. But when you’re in a relationship like that, you don’t realize how or why it’s unhealthy.
Anyhow, following our break-up, I basically didn’t date seriously until my husband. I struggled with insecurity, feeling like no guys found me attractive, wondering whether I would meet the right guy, or if I would simply end up feeling alone. Can you relate? Seriously…doesn’t nearly every girl on the planet feel this way at some point?!
After lots of long talks with God, lots of journaling, and some overall assessment of my life, I discovered this…
** as long as God is my #1 priority, I will ** always be joyful and at peace
So simple, right?! Riiight! Ha!!! It took years (and years, and years)of prayer, 2 years of dating the WRONG guy, probably 20 “crushes”, and finally giving up control of my life after humbly realizing God will ALWAYS make the best decisions for me (duh, right?! How lame that it took me 21 years to realize the creator of the universe would be smarter than myself!).
Recently when reviewing my journal from college, I took a trip down memory lane and look what I found on 3 SEPARATE entries in my journal: April, May, AND August…
It was probably October of that same year that I had a conversation with God, a confession, really. I explained that my desire for a husband needed to take a backseat. I needed to realize and BELIEVE that if I never met the right guy, serving God would be enough, actually, would be more than enough, it would be amazing. I really became content that if it was just God and me, and my love of teaching, life could still be a dream. Just different than I’d planned or hoped.
Would you believe that my hubby-to-be got around to asking me out February of that following year? (Below was one of our first pictures taken together, about a month before he asked me out. Total hotties, right? Bwahaha!)
God knows the reason for his timing, and whether my conversation with Him had anything to do with it or not, I’m thankful that He helped me come to that realization first. Not that my priorities don’t get messed up occasionally, but I strive daily to make Christ my top priority, husband next, kids….you get the picture.
(And here was another picture, again, prior to dating. Apparently he really had to see me at my worst before he felt comfortable asking me out! haha That’s a whole other story!)
So there you have my first thing learned about marriage, even before I ever got married, or even began DATING my husband…
#10. my husband will always take second place…because god should take first.