10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Marriage– #10. Top Priority

Last week was my 10th wedding anniversary and BOY HOWDY have we come a long way! I am blessed beyond what I could’ve imagined, to be married to an amazing, Godly man.

I’ve had many close friends share their admiration for our marriage, and while it’s terribly humbling because we often feel we have just lucked out by finding our “soul mate”, I also look back over our 10 married years realizing how much work we’ve put INTO our marriage! AND THEN realize how much work we’ll continue to put into it! Alas…if you’ve ever worked hard at anything in your life, you know, it’s all worth it in the end!

There is absolutely no possible way I could share 10 things I’ve learned in 10 years of marriage in one, single blog post. Partially because it would be ridiculously long not unlike my previous post, but also because, well, let’s face it, I like to talk. So each of the 10 things will be given it’s own separate post.

#10. my husband will always take second place

Nope…you didn’t misread that.

I know, the most bizarre piece of marital advice you’ll ever hear, right? Allow me to explain myself…

My dating life prior to my husband was…well…lacking I suppose.

I dated one boy very seriously for about 2 years between the ages of 17-19. It was that typical young love, obsessed type of relationship that Keisha describes in her song “Your Love is My Drug”…we were COMPLETELY consumed with one another to a fault. Even if you’ve never heard the “song”, you can imagine what it’s about. It was unhealthy. But when you’re in a relationship like that, you don’t realize how or why it’s unhealthy.

Anyhow, following our break-up, I basically didn’t date seriously until my husband. I struggled with insecurity, feeling like no guys found me attractive, wondering whether I would meet the right guy, or if I would simply end up feeling alone. Can you relate? Seriously…doesn’t nearly every girl on the planet feel this way at some point?!

After lots of long talks with God, lots of journaling, and some overall assessment of my life, I discovered this…

** as long as God is my #1 priority, I will ** always be joyful and at peace

So simple, right?! Riiight! Ha!!! It took years (and years, and years)of prayer, 2 years of dating the WRONG guy, probably 20 “crushes”, and finally giving up control of my life after humbly realizing God will ALWAYS make the best decisions for me (duh, right?! How lame that it took me 21 years to realize the creator of the universe would be smarter than myself!).

Recently when reviewing my journal from college, I took a trip down memory lane and look what I found on 3 SEPARATE entries in my journal: April, May, AND August…

It was probably October of that same year that I had a conversation with God, a confession, really. I explained that my desire for a husband needed to take a backseat. I needed to realize and BELIEVE that if I never met the right guy, serving God would be enough, actually, would be more than enough, it would be amazing. I really became content that if it was just God and me, and my love of teaching, life could still be a dream. Just different than I’d planned or hoped.

Would you believe that my hubby-to-be got around to asking me out February of that following year? (Below was one of our first pictures taken together, about a month before he asked me out. Total hotties, right? Bwahaha!)

God knows the reason for his timing, and whether my conversation with Him had anything to do with it or not, I’m thankful that He helped me come to that realization first. Not that my priorities don’t get messed up occasionally, but I strive daily to make Christ my top priority, husband next, kids….you get the picture.

(And here was another picture, again, prior to dating. Apparently he really had to see me at my worst before he felt comfortable asking me out! haha That’s a whole other story!)

So there you have my first thing learned about marriage, even before I ever got married, or even began DATING my husband…

#10. my husband will always take second place…because god should take first.

My 10 Favorite Wedding Moments

Today, June 14th 2013, is my TEN year wedding anniversary!

I keep arguing with myself as to whether 10 years really is a long period of time. In one way, it feels as if it’s flown by! In other ways, WOW! A LOT has happened since that day.

I thought it would be fun to share my top 10 wedding moments with you.

I apologize in advance… (both for the LENGTH of this post, and the following)“back in the day”, digital photography was not a “thing”, so I had to scan in all my pictures for this post. The bonus? It was the swift kick in the butt I needed to encourage me to put my negatives on CD. I’ll be dropping them off at Costco tomorrow.

*Ahem*…allow us to proceed. I tried to “rank” my 10 favorite moments, but had a hard time committing (pun not intended), so they’re in roughly the right order, ending with my silly favorite moment. Most of them are not your typical “wedding day favorite moments”. Hope you enjoy!

#10: Dancing

I know, some of you are appalled that this was only #10, barely making the list. I enjoy dancing, but am in no way, shape, or form…GOOD! And my husband? Well, we joke because our “first dance” should’ve been referred to as the “last dance”, ‘cuz I’m not getting any more dancing outta him not that we’re hitched and he doesn’t have to “put on a show” anymore!

BUT…I did have a blast dancing with all my friends and family! My amazing friends humored me by dancing to all the typical, cliche wedding songs. Yup…the best of the best including Celebrate, Best of My Love, Respect, YMCA, Ice Ice Baby, C’Mon ‘N Ride it (The Train)….with a dance train all around the tables and EVERYTHING! And don’t forget…Shout! The rule was – everyone had to be lower than the bride.

#9: The Food

Here’s the first of many that don’t normally make the “top” list for weddings. =) Kudos to my parents for making this aspect memorable. It was certainly not cheap. ={ The buffet table is pictured above beside the pool.

Dinner was catered by Sun Dried Tomato in Laguna Beach. We had 210 people attend our reception, each of whom meant a great deal to me! I wanted to show them how important their presence in my life meant by providing them with a nice meal. And you know all the guests are hungry by the time they make it to the reception! Needless to say, Sun Dried Tomato came through! I’m hoping Ryan and I can make it out to Laguna to reminisce on an upcoming trip to LA. YUM! Notice below…hardly any food left on the table behind my gorgeous bridesmaids. It was cleared too quickly to make any of the photos. We downed our dinners! Hopefully the guests appreciated the extra effort.

#8: Grandma in Attendance

87 years young she is in this photo! My Grandma played a significant spiritual role in my life and prayed along with my parents and many others that I would meet a man of God.

She even tried to hook me up with a lifeguard she led to Christ! Oh Grandma!

She had to travel at least an hour in the car to make it to my wedding and no doubt paid for it with pain in her joints for a few days. But it meant the world to me. About a month ago, I attended her memorial service. I will forever cherish her presence at my wedding.

#7. Music Memories:

Smooth Operator, The Muppets Theme Song & Adam Sandler’s Grow Old With You

Music Memory #1: Smooth Operator

Music can make a lasting impression, can’t it? Ryan I joked that we didn’t have “a song” and had a difficult time choosing a song for our first dance. Well, music land was playing an evil trick on us the night of our wedding. As we climbed into the limo to head to the reception, our chauffeur decided that Smooth Operator should serenade us on our way. Seriously?! Does it get much cornier and obnoxious than that?

THEN…as we sat down to eat dinner at the reception, what song do we hear over the loud speaker? You guessed it – none other than Smooth Operator! (How did that get on our playlist?!) We considered firing our DJ on the spot, but instead had a small giggle at our now inside joke.

Oh yes ladies and gents…the joke continues. On our limo ride TO the hotel that night, our ears were cursed yet again with the tunes of Smooth Operator.

What fickle music gods cursed us on this day that upon arriving to the hotel lobby, we should be greeted by the subtle tones of Smooth Operator, the elevator music version. As if the limo driver getting lost on the way to the hotel didn’t kill the mood enough! Come on!!

I don’t think I’ve heard this song 4 times in my LIFE, let alone 4 times in one NIGHT! Every time we hear Smooth Operator now, a giggle is shared between the hubs and I.

Music Memory #2: The Muppets Theme Song

I enjoy hearing bride & groom’s music choices at weddings. I think it can be very telling. Our bridal party had the pleasure of entering the scene to The Muppets Theme song. I will never forget the excitement of being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Nicholas. My husband held up my hand pointing to my wedding ring. His forever, and he couldn’t have been happier. What a precious moment. (I’m sure my inner chuckle at using this song for our entrance has nothing to do with Ryan’s similarity to Statler & Waldorf…don’t forget my sarcastic nature here folks!! AND…if you’re true Muppets fans, you’ll get this.)

Music Memory #3: Grow Old With You

As we began cutting into the wedding cake, Adam Sandler’s Grow Old With You began playing. A favorite actor and fitting movie for the occasion, again, Ryan and I shared a laugh at such a pertinent tune.

Okay…sorry I kinda cheated with that one and squeezed 3 moments into one, but I had a hard time narrowing it down people! Onto the next…

#6: My strap popped off!!

Humor ALWAYS alleviates potentially stressful situations. A genius dress design turned out to be the cause of many giggles and thankfully no major wardrobe malfunctions.

To allow the option of my dress to either be strapless or not, the straps on my dress were attached with snaps. I liked the look of the straps and chose to wear them…until they began popping off with every hug. And there are lots of hugs on your wedding day lemme tell ya! =)

The strap would pop, I’d laugh, snap it back on and continue on my merry little way. It got funnier and funnier as the night progressed UNTIL it popped off as I gave my dad a hug following his toast!! Still hilarious, and now hilarious for my entire guest list!

The photographer caught my reaction above.

#5: The Garter

Yet another inside joke (can you tell what our marriage is based on?).

This one requires a bit of backstory. My husband is lacking in fashion sense, he’s not ashamed to admit it. While we were dating, he’d wear this horrible, pitiful looking purple and white plaid flannel! I finally mustered up the courage to ask him where he got it and why he thinks it’s okay to wear it, to which he replied, “Someone left it on the floor of their dorm when they moved out, I inherited it.” Eww! Men!

Apparently he finally got the hint after me rolling my eyes upon first sight of seeing him wearing it each time and he devised a clever “good riddance” scheme. For Christmas, he wrapped up the flannel along with a lighter, giving me permission to burn that bad boy!

Unbeknownst to him, I cut off a strip of the wretched thing before burning it. I think it was nearly a year and a half before our wedding day (long before we were even engaged!). I kept it stashed until just the right time. My roommate sewed it into a garter for me to wear. Needless to say, Ryan was flabbergasted when he laid eyes on it! Pardon the show of leg, but…

here’s a better look at the garter…my maid of honor helping me get the garter “into position”.

#4: Mr. and Mrs. Ryan & Becky Roach

My maiden name was Roach. It wasn’t as bad as you’d think. The jokes got old real quick and my reaction would be, “Really? Is that the best you got?” With that said, I was certainly not saddened to gain a new last name.

Contrary to the name typed on our new address labels printed and affixed to the bubbles handed out to our guests as they bid us farewell, my husband did NOT in fact choose to take on my last name. Can you believe that my mom, myself, and my bridesmaids all tied on 210 labels to 210 bottles of bubbles and NONE of us realized the typo on the tag: Mr. and Mrs. Ryan & Becky Roach (instead of Nicholas obviously). What a hilarious discovery as we prepared to say goodbye!

And if I may sneak another “moment” here as I share #4 with you. I always thought it was so sweet to have the “get away” car decorated as the bride and groom left the reception, but not exactly something you request, am I right? That’d be tacky.

So you can imagine my inner excitement as we happened upon the limo:

I BELIEVE it was our best man’s wife that was the devious delight behind this heart warming surprise. Thanks friend!

#3: Best Brother Ever! Swimming, rototilling? He’ll do anything!

To say my mom and I enjoy party planning would be an understatement. We like to go all out. So you can imagine how excited we were to plan my wedding, my mother’s one and only daughter’s WEDDING of all parties! Anyway, we planned a lot of fun details, including floating flower arrangements for the pool on site at the reception.

Well, we didn’t anticipate placing said arrangements into the pool, only to have them all float into one corner of the pool, congregating like girls at a 7th grade school dance. We’re problem solvers. We’ll just attach fishing line with weights underneath so they stay put, so we thought.

Enter amazing brother. Apparently this was MUCH easier said than done. He was out there in his bathing suit swimming down underneath these floral arrangements doing his darndest to get them to stay put. He’d tie weights, they wouldn’t be heavy enough so he’d have to go back and add more. *sigh* What a bro! Anything for his big sis.

Aren’t they lovely though?

We don’t have pictures of the other reason as to why he’s amazing, so I googled the pic above to help provide you with a visual aid. Our reception was at a private residence and, did I mention we had 210 people in attendance?! So we anticipated parking being an issue. We hired a valet service, but still…where to park all the cars. We chatted with all the neighbors to be sure they didn’t mind us taking up the entire street. There was one house that had a large grassy area out in front where probably at least 15 cars could easily park.

Only problem? There was about a 2 foot crevice running along the length of the grassy area. Easy fix with a rototiller, right? And the owners said, Sure! By all means!

2 days before the wedding, my brother and I are out there in 95 degree heat with a rented rototiller for 2 hours working on the crevice! Of course I wore gloves and took off my wedding ring, right? Bwahaha! Blood blister! Oh yeah! It disappeared before wedding day thankfully. =)

Thanks bro! Love you to pieces.

#2: My Dad’s Toast

Yup, I’m daddy’s little girl. So when it came time for his toast, I knew I’d be a basket case. However, his words were priceless.

He had always joked about how he was going to lock me in the attic until I was 30 so I couldn’t date, because obviously no guy was going to be good enough for me. Thankfully he knew better, ‘cuz I would’ve rebelled, royally!

When it came time for me to attend college, wouldn’t you know I chose a hecka expensive private school. My poor parents! But they didn’t bat an eyelash and put me through all 4 years. Here’s what pushed me over the edge in dad’s toast.

He said that when I chose to attend Biola University, he knew that God was going to do something miraculous in my life. He didn’t know what it was going to be, he just knew something amazing would happen during my time at Biola.

“And here you are, Ryan.” were his words. Ryan, my husband, was that amazing thing that would happen at Biola. Don’t get me wrong, many, MANY other amazing things happened, but had I not attended Biola, I guarantee I never would’ve met Ryan. =) Dad’s approval. How amazing to know that your parents see what a perfect fit you are to your spouse! Wow. So blessed.

AND DRUMROLL PLEASE….

MY #1 MOMENT OF MY WEDDING DAY…

#1: Licorice Kiss

Silly, but then our relationship revolves around sarcasm, so it seemed fitting. Once the ceremony was over, we went into a room so the guests could leave and we could take pictures. I tend to be hypoglycemic and needed something to eat!! All my bridesmaids, my mom, etc. had been super careful to make sure I ate plenty that day. So a piece of licorice was presented and the cliché “Lady & the Tramp” moment took place. I loved that I didn’t have to feel guilty or silly about acting on my hopelessly in love feeling. And I was now Mrs. Ryan Nicholas!!

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To recap, and close with thanking some very important folks in making this day AMAZING…

My 10 Favorite Wedding Moments

#10 Dancing

#9 The Food

#8 Grandma in Attendance

#7 Music Memories: Smooth Operator, The Muppets Theme Song & Adam Sandler’s Grow Old With You

#6 My strap popped off!!

#5 The Garter

#4 Mr. and Mrs. Ryan & Becky Roach

#3 Best Brother Ever!

#2 My Dad’s Toast

#1 Licorice Kiss

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My mom and I often discuss how I wouldn’t change anything about my wedding day, even after 10 years! Too many people were involved to thank, but I do need to thank my parents, and Ryan’s parents. Thank you for an AMAZING wedding memory, to this day!

Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Dan & Rondalyn Roach!

& Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Whitney & Sallie Nicholas

Here’s to many years more…stay tuned for the next 10 days for 10 things I’ve learned during my 10 years of marriage. =)

Happy Donut Day!

I believe National Donut Day is always the first Friday in June. This is one we will probably never miss celebrating. It was a family tradition of mine, getting donuts on Saturday mornings, and who doesn’t love a good excuse to get donuts?!

I love comparing how we’ve changed each year…check it!

2012

2011

2010

No Allie even! =) hehe THRILLED she’s with us to celebrate donut day. =)

Hula Hoop Forts

Thankfully, Cooper was pretty excited about this idea!

Reason being…it didn’t go quite as smoothly as planned.

I had pinned the idea on Pinterest and had seen 2 different version:

1. Using a shower curtain and hooks

2. Pinning a sheet around the hula hoop

Easy peasy, right?

Haha….well…I figured we had the shower curtain, why not give that a go. Well, try hanging that, and actually keeping a “fort” shape in tact. Imagine each time you climb up the ladder, the hooks all slide to one side of the hula hoop. Go ahead and laugh. I would’ve too if I’d been watching myself.

Also, if the hula hoop is not perfectly level, again, all the hooks sliding to one side kinda problem.

So, here’s the best way I found to create a successful hula hoop fort:

materials:

sheets

safety pins

hula hoop

twine

ladder

step 1: Tie a piece of twine from one side of the hula hoop to the other, keeping it somewhat loose. Repeat on a perpendicular so you create an x, keeping them as close to the same length as possible (remember, must be level!) Gather the X at the top and tie together creating a loop.

step 2: Pin the sides of the sheet around the top of the hula hoop.

step 3: Roughly measure the length of your sheet, and how far down you want your hula hoop to hang from wherever you plan to hang it. Reason being, is for measuring how long you need to cut your twine to hang it. It helps to do this BEFORE climbing the ladder with the cumbersome hula hoop and sheet.

step 4: Cut twine accordingly and hang. We hung ours on our back patio cover. The kids LOVED it and I would imagine it was that much easier seeing as you didn’t have un-level tree branches to deal with.

step 5: Put blanket and/or pillows on the ground and read some books! or let the kids go crazy pulling them all over the place.

I hope this was a helpful explanation. Here are some more pictures to give you an idea of what we did, and how fun it can be! Note – I used both shower curtains and sheets, but sheets will be used if we ever do it again, MUCH easier!

Here you can see the combo of shower curtain and sheet. I had nearly given up when the sheet came out, otherwise I would’ve pinned it more thoroughly. The curtain worked better when I hung it on either side of the twine, kept it from falling altogether at least. =) We hung two and they wanted them to connect! hehe

Peeky!

AFTER they went all berserk in there (this truly was what went on, look up the definition, it will make you giggle), we did finally sit down and relax inside the little “fort”. =)

First Hot Air Balloon Flight 230 years ago today! (I mean yesterday!)

A teacher at heart, I’m sometimes a sucker for a fun history lesson. And I know we’re a day late, I thought we had Up and didn’t, so I switched 2 of the days. =)

June 4th, 1783, brothers Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier made a public demonstration of experiments they had been attempting with success. They were prosperous paper manufacturers and had discovered paper bags rising when heated air had flowed directly into the bag. This first flight lasting 10 minutes had no passengers.

It was on Sept. 19th, 1783 that the brothers demonstrated for King Louis XVI. The king suggested using prisoners to see if high altitudes were compatible with life, however, the Montgolfier brothers had a much more clever idea in mind.

3 animals:

A sheep – because their physiology is similar to our own

A duck – the control, seeing as they fly without harm

A rooster – a second control, also a bird, but does not fly at high altitudes

The balloon was decorated with golden flourishes, zodiac signs, and suns (symbolizing the King).

In honor of the 230 year mark since the first hot air balloon flight, we watched the movie Up, then released a balloon with the following attached:

Hopefully we’ll pass on a little historical tidbit.

My kids loved watching Up while I made frequent trips to the kitchen pretending to get them milk or a snack while fighting back tears.

See our celebration from 2 years ago here…wow has a lot changed!

Alphabet Scavenger Hunt

In planning out my summer calendar ideas, I came across this idea here on Pinterest. Again, I was a bit concerned Cooper might not be totally excited to do this one, but…you’ve just gotta be flexible.

Thankfully, he was totally into it and completed it well! I definitely had to help, but there were MANY that he came up with all on his own. I simply wrote out all the letters in chalk (it helped that the chalk we used had a surprise toy hidden inside – thank you clearance at Target) and we got to work finding objects that started with each letter.

Check out some fun pictures from our “adventure” today…and don’t forget to read the reality check at the end. Just keepin’ it real folks!

To help with clean up, while the kids put everything away, I drew the items in front of each letter so we could remember what we’d had there AND get closer to getting the toy in the chalk.

**REALITY CHECK**

I was so proud of Cooper that I told the kids we’d walk down to Starbuck’s and get them a treat and mommy round 2 of coffee for the morning. We hopped in the BOB and started walking. The kids were crazy i.e. spitting, hitting, etc. And I said it, I said,

“If you spit one more time, we’re going right back home.”

I’m not sure who was more disappointed. Cooper or me.

But, I knew I had to follow through. The good news is, after 20 minutes of throwing a temper tantrum in his room, he totally turned around and even prayed at lunch that God would help him to “not do bad things”. This child melts my heart I tell ya.

Tune in tomorrow as we celebrate the first hot air balloon flight!