Thoughtful Thursday–Friendships

Who would you say is your best friend RIGHT NOW?!

Probably wouldn’t be the same answer if I’d asked you 10 years ago, huh? How about even 6 months ago? 1 day ago?! =)

Friendships change, they evolve, they last sometimes for only a season. And ladies…that’s OKAY!

A good friend of mine, Sara Whitehead, was a friend of mine during the season of life in which my husband was in medical school. Anyone who has supported a spouse through medical school can appreciate how important a close friend can be during this time! We did a TON together and I adored her twin girls during a season when I was not working, and didn’t yet have kids. It was a perfect fit! She appreciated the help with her girls, and I needed distraction and enjoyed conversation that pertained to something other than the nitty gritty that went on in my life at that time. Here we are at a very special wedding we had the honor of being a part of:

When her husband graduated from the residency and it was time for them to move on, she gifted me the book pictured at the beginning of this post, “That’s What a Friend Is” and told me that I would one day read it to my own children. It’s bringing tears to my eyes just thinking about it now.

The description in the book of what a friend is….is fantastic! Essentially, someone you feel yourself around, not judged, able to do what you enjoy doing, and who provides a safe place for you when you’re stressed or troubled. Wow. We ALL need friends, don’t we? Sometimes it’s really hard to find a friend like this.

But…in order to have a friend like this, we also need to be willing to BE a friend like this, too. And sometimes, this is even harder. But I’ve found that during the times in my life when I was struggling to find a good friend, it was because I wasn’t really BEING a good friend to people around me.

So…with all that said, ladies! Let me share something with you. Girls can be mean, petty, judgmental, critical, and just flat out witchy! But when they are? It’s probably because inside they’re feeling terribly insecure and really need a good friend.

Many Most All of my close friends have generally been fellow girls or women who struggled with female relationships because of all those reasons listed above. How can you be yourself when you’re feeling judged all the time? 

We need to stop with the judging and comparing, and learn to be open and honest so that we can participate in knowing what a friend truly is and can be! I’m thankful to have had many close friends throughout the different seasons of my life, so many in fact that I wouldn’t dare try to list them…but you know who you are.

I have had the pleasure now of reading this book to BOTH my children, and while I was reading it, a specific page caught my eye:

It reminded me of one of my best friends from junior high. So I hunted down another copy of the book and am mailing her a copy to thank her for our friendship during that season of life. What gal doesn’t love a fun surprise in the mail, right?

Who might you mail a surprise book to, or simply a kind letter thanking them for their friendship? I’ve had the book to mail for at LEAST a year now…maybe you’ll beat my pitiful time frame.

Here was the note I included on the inside cover of the book:

I was given this book by a dear friend that I had for a season of my life (well, not THIS exact book, but a copy of the same book, “That’s what a friend is”.). There are many different types of friendships, childhood, lifelong, family, workplace, mommy friends etc. many friendships have their seasons….and man are those friendships important for that season of life! That was true of my friend that gifted me this book, and I feel that was true of you and me up through junior high. I so appreciated our friendship. Anyhow, I thought how cool it would be for me to send the book onto a friend like you that I appreciated during a season of my own life. There is even a page in the book that reminded me of us in junior high. I adorned it with a little smiley face. Enjoy searching for it while you perhaps read it to your littles. Love you friend!

                                                                     Sincerely, Becky